


Soul Torn

by kyrdwyn



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Agent Carter References, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Holocaust references, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 15:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6711373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyrdwyn/pseuds/kyrdwyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are one soul, torn in half and placed in separate bodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul Torn

**Author's Note:**

> This is *not* Captain America: Civil War compliant. Anything Civil War related in here is based off the trailers/TV spots and my own interpretation of what could happen, since I haven't yet seen the movie. So, basically, this is all probably wrong and I don't care. *slaps AU tag on fic* 
> 
> As far as actual spoilers, well, any movie in the MCU is fair game, as is Agent Carter. And Agents of SHIELD, though I don't think there are any spoilers for that in this fice.

_"I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned."_

_"Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet."_

Stark hadn't seen it yet, _Tony_ hadn't seen it, because Tony hadn't been in Washington when SHIELD had gone down, when the Winter Soldier had been revealed.

When his soul had been remade, and then ripped from him again.

* * *

_"You've been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years."_

When he'd finally been left alone, after being defrosted and informed that he was now seventy years in the future, long after almost everyone he had known was gone, he locked himself in the small bathroom and turned around, lifting his shirt. The soulmark tattoo still rested at the small of his back, the one that had appeared on his eighteenth birthday. The one that matched his soulmate's. They'd never told anyone else they were soulmates. It was between them, and them alone. Besides, some people wouldn't take kindly to two men being soulmates, despite it having happened for centuries. And then there was the strength of their bond, soul torn they were called, unusual and something that even in opposite sex couples was frowned upon.

They hadn't known they would be soul torn, though, when the entwined red and white stars had appeared on Steve's back a few days after his eighteenth birthday. He'd known who his soul mate was based on that mark, though, having seen the mark before. When he'd finally gotten the courage to show the tattoo to his soul mate, Bucky had stared at Steve's mark, hesitantly reaching out and touching it. Steve had shivered at the feelings that ran though him.

"God, Steve," Bucky had said. "This... you're mine."

"Yeah, Buck. And you're mine," he replied. This was a two way street, after all.

"Father McAlister isn't going to approve."

"So we don't tell him," Steve said. "This is ours." He didn't care if it was out of character for him, or if he would be omitting things in the confessional. God, Fate, whatever had deemed them soul mates. He turned around to meet Bucky's eyes. "I don't care how far we take it, Buck, but I don't see why anyone else needs to know anything about us."

Buck looked down at him, smiling. "I'm with you to the end of the line, so..." he stepped closer, leaning in. He pressed his lips to Steve's, and in that moment, they both knew there was no going back for them, and no one else for them, either.

It barely took a day afterward for them to determine that they could always tell how the other felt, no matter how far away they were. When they were within a few blocks of each other, and especially when skin to skin, they could speak mind to mind. That was what the Church had hated about bonds like theirs. When mindspeech came into play, the Church claimed there were darker forces at work. Others just said it was due to them being the same soul split in half, an explanation the Church didn't like either. Soul torn was the term for people like them, and both Steve and Bucky knew this was something that was theirs alone. No one else needed to know about this. Just them.

They were each other's, to the end of the line.

* * *

_"Let's hear it for Captain America!"_

Bucky had given him a smart ass smirk as he'd incited the cheer. //Really, Buck?// he'd send through their mindspeech.

//Someone has to keep your ego in check,// Bucky had sent back. //Who better than me?//

//Jerk.//

//Punk.//

Steve had been dragged off for debriefing with the Colonel and Agent Carter after that, and Bucky and the other former prisoners were sent to medical. When they had gotten back to Steve's quarters, which he had generously offered to share with Bucky, as the camp was now over capacity on tents and beds, the first thing Bucky had done was shove Steve face first onto the bed and yank his shirt and jacket up, muttering, "Tell me it hasn't changed, tell me you're still mine," aloud and in their link, breathing out a sob when he found it. Steve let him; he'd known it hadn't changed when he'd undergone Erskine's procedure, but Bucky needed to be reassured, leaning down to kiss their mark, running his tongue around the outside of the stars. //Mine.//

//Yours, Buck. Always yours.// He flipped them over, tracing his own tongue around the stars on Bucky's left shoulder. //God, I could feel what they were putting you through.//

//I could feel you, keeping me sane, keeping me going. I knew you would come for me, even though I didn't think you'd be this crazy to undergo that procedure. God, I wondered about the massive pain you went through months back. I'm guessing it was this.// Bucky nipped at Steve's shoulder.

//I had to get over here. Couldn't let you have all the fun.// Steve moved so he was looking into Bucky's eyes, on hand on the back of Bucky's neck. //I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do for you.//

Bucky smiled and leaned in, pressing his forehead to Steve's. //I love you, Steven Grant Rogers. To the end of the line.//

* * *

_"Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?"_

_"Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight - I'm following him."_

Steve looked at Bucky. //Jerk. You had me worried.//

//I don't know who this Captain America is. Steve Rogers? I'd follow him anywhere.// "But you're keeping the outfit, right?"

"It's kinda grown on me," Steve said.

//You'll be a freaking target, Steve.//

//We'll tone it down. I don't want them to see me coming from too far away.//

The singing stopped, and they turned to see Peggy Carter, in a red dress, standing in the door between the rooms. Steve knew he was acting the fool over her, as expected, but he'd never been good with girls. Only his soulmate. Who was, of course, flirting with Peggy too, the jerk, but Steve knew it was only to tweak him.

"I've turned into you," Bucky complained when Peggy had left.

"Maybe she's got a friend," Steve smirked.

//Like I'd touch anyone else now that I have you back,// Bucky sent, taking a sip of his drink.

//Feeling's mutual,// Steve replied. //Very mutual.//

//So, finish our drinks, clear up Dugan's tab, and go back to your place and get mutual with each other?// Bucky gave Steve a smile as he finished his drink.

//Right behind you, Buck.//. He finished his drink as well, turning to look at his soulmate. //I love you,// he sent, wanting to say it out loud, tell the whole bar, but knowing he couldn't.

Buck pulled him in with a friendly arm around his neck. "Come on, punk," he said aloud. "You've got a date with a dame in the morning." //I love you too, Steve.//

* * *

_"Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it."_

Steve didn't snarl at Peggy, much as he wanted to. She, like everyone, thought he'd just lost his best friend, someone he'd known since childhood. They didn't know that Bucky had been his bonded soul mate. If asked about his bond tattoo, he had always said he didn't know who it belonged to. Even after they'd been reunited, he and Bucky had decided to continue to keep their bond hidden, so his closeness to Bucky was viewed as a result of being friends and then teammates.

But Steve had known, through their bond, when Bucky had been in trouble in the war. It was why he had fought so hard to make it through training, why he had insisted on going behind enemy lines to rescue the 107th. And how'd he'd known Bucky was there, in that factory, even when he wasn't with the other prisoners. As soon as they had touched, he had felt Bucky's mind on his, and known he was whole again. They'd been inseparable since.

Despite them trying to keep it hidden, Steve wasn't convinced that Falsworth and Stark didn't know. But neither man had ever said anything either way, though Stark had given Steve some looks after catching him flirting with Peggy.

But after Peggy left the bombed out bar, leaving Steve to his grief, Stark wandered in, a bottle of scotch in his hands. He set it down on the table and sat next to Steve. "She won't understand," Stark said. "They never do."

Steve had looked at the millionaire, blinking away his tears. "Who?"

"People who never had soulmates, or never found them. Those who never bonded with another person. They'll never understand what it means to lose one, to feel that unending grief every single moment of every day. Even if you find someone else, you'll never forget your bonded, ever."

"You lost yours," Steve said, understanding what Howard was saying. "You were bonded and you lost them."

"He was stationed at Pearl Harbor. His enlistment was almost up, and he was supposed to be coming back to me. Then December 7, 1941, happened. A day that will live in infamy, indeed." Stark uncorked the scotch and drank straight from the bottle. "I knew the moment he was gone."

"Like your soul was ripped apart." Like he'd felt on the train. Like he felt now.

"And you'll never be whole again." Stark stared at the bottle. "I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, Steve. I'm sorry it happened to you."

"And I'm sorry it happened to you." Steve filled his glass. "What was your bonded's name?"

"Anthony." Stark looked down as he said it, unable to meet Steve's eyes, the pain clearly fresh even four years later.

Steve held up his glass. "To Anthony."

Stark looked up, giving Steve a sad smile as he held up the bottle. "To Bucky. May they give each other hell until we get there."

"Agreed."

They drank until Stark needed help stumbling back to his quarters. Steve wasn't drunk, but he felt a little better, knowing he wasn't the only one in this situation. He wouldn't wish it on anyone, but at least he wasn't as alone as he thought.

* * *

_"Peggy, this is my choice."_

He wished Howard were on the other end of the line. Howard would understand why Steve was doing this.

Steve knew he could chance a landing, if a place could be found before the bombs were released. Or he could put the plane in the water, make sure the bombs never found their targets, and be reunited with his soul mate.

It really wasn't a choice for him.

He set his compass with the picture of Peggy in it on the console. Beneath her picture was a picture of Bucky from an article on the Howling Commandos. It was the only way he could keep Bucky with him, and every time he glanced at it, he saw his bonded's face, not Peggy's.

Even as he was keeping up the conversation with Peggy, talking about a dance, he was watching the ice as he dove toward it, thinking _Bucky, I'm coming to join you._

Then he knew nothing.

* * *

_"You gonna be okay?"_

_"Yeah. Yeah, it's just... I had a date."_

They all thought he meant a date with Peggy. But she wasn't who Steve had meant. Not as he looked around the nearly unrecognizable Times Square, and realized that he hadn't died in the ice, hadn't been reunited with the other half of his soul in the afterlife.

It might be nearly seventy years to everyone else, but for him, it had only been less than two weeks, and his heart still definitely belonged to his bonded. People might merely remember James Buchanan Barnes as a member of Steve's team, the one who didn't make it home, but all that meant was that Howard didn't talk about the confidences they had shared, in the bombed bar in London.

Steve sat in his room after checking his tattoo, eyes closed and concentrating. Some soul marks disappeared or turned gray after a soul mate died. Others stayed the same, and still others would fade out and be replaced by a new soul tattoo. His had stayed the same, but he could feel... something. Not quite like Bucky, but still something.

He hoped it wasn't a new soul mate. He didn't want one, couldn't handle one. If he couldn't have Bucky back in his life, then he didn't want anyone. He'd known, they'd known, they were it for each other. Their mindspeech had confirmed it. They were the same soul, somehow ripped in two and placed into different bodies.

The universe giving him another soul mate, would be salt in the wound. Even if all it meant was that Bucky's soul had been reborn in a new body, it still wouldn't be his soulbonded. It wouldn't be Bucky.

But he could feel something. So either he was just feeling the echoes of Bucky in their bond, or it was someone else.

"Bucky," he whispered, reaching out to that place inside that had been his bonded. "I'm sorry, Bucky."

He got no response from the bond.

* * *

_"That's the guy my dad never shut up about?"_

Steve wasn't sure about Tony Stark. _Anthony_ Stark. He couldn't believe that Howard had named his son for his bonded. Not that Steve knew much about Howard's Anthony, but he couldn't imagine naming his child for Bucky. As much as he still loved his bonded, he wouldn't set it up so he constantly was comparing his own child to Bucky.

Not like Howard had done with Anthony.

Tony was impressive, he had to admit, in ways different from Howard. He was also a playboy, taking nothing seriously. Steve wondered if Tony had lost his bonded as well, taking on the same coping methods that his father had. Though he had settled down some, according to the papers, with Pepper Potts.

Still, working with him was not like working with Howard. Howard would have tried to cheer Steve up a bit, but Tony seemed more like he had something to prove against Steve. Even though to Steve, this wasn't a competition. But he'd been frozen in ice for seventy years, while Tony had had years of hearing about Steve, and maybe Anthony, and never measuring up to Howard's description of them.

By the end of the Chitauri invasion, listening to Stark go on about wanting shawarma, Steve could look at Tony and see Tony, not Howard, not Anthony, not even Bucky. Tony Stark was someone Steve could see as a friend, an ally, a teammate. He could see all of them, Thor, Barton, Romanoff, Tony, Banner, as friends and teammates.

Maybe it would be enough, for him to survive in this new world, while waiting for the chance to be reunited with his Bucky.

* * *

_"It's hard to find someone with shared life experience."_

He should just tell them, he knew. Then Natasha would stop trying to set him up. Or maybe she wouldn't. She might feel he should find someone in this modern era to help him move on from Bucky. The 'nurse' that was actually a SHIELD agent, maybe. Or someone else.

As if he could ever move on from his bonded.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried. There had been a few girls, and a few guys, when he would get tired of sitting in his apartment alone and would go out to a local bar. But after make out sessions, he'd known that it wouldn't work. He turned them down with a rueful smile, an apology, and they'd never been too disappointed. Like they could sense his heart hadn't been in it.

Those had been the nights he'd gone back to his apartment and brooded more, sitting with his files, wanting to tell someone that he missed his bonded like he would miss oxygen. Nights when he almost picked up the phone and called Peggy, to confess everything to her. She'd lost her bonded to old age, a SHIELD agent that had loved her and she'd loved him. A good match for her, based on what he saw in the pictures, and when she talked about Daniel.

He could still feel that something, where the bond was. It had been intermittent over the past two years, sometimes gone, sometimes there. At times, such intense pain came through that all he could do was reach out to the other and try to help with the pain - even if it wasn't Bucky, he couldn't let them go through that alone. And there were times when the bond was so closed off it was like there was a different person entirely at the other end.

He wondered if he should just reach out fully, find the person, figure out if the universe had given him another soul mate or if that was just the echo of Bucky he was still feeling after all this time. Well, only two years, really, for him. He'd been unconscious for the previous seventy, unaware of the passage of time.

When this mission was over, when they'd figured out what was on the disk, who had ordered Fury killed, then he'd sit down and find that person, or at least tell someone else about being bonded to Bucky.

Maybe then he could figure out a place in this world.

* * *

_"Bucky?"_

//Oh my god, Buck, you're alive. You're alive! That's what I've been feeling, it's you. You're here. I don't care that you just tried to kill me, we'll fix this, Buck, as long as we're together.// His heart soared, seeing his beloved, his bonded, alive, in front of him, looking just as he remembered him, despite the hair, the stubble, and the metal arm. The arm with just a red star, not their entwined stars of red and white. He didn't growl at the thought of someone defiling their bondmark, but it was a near thing.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

//What is this? Who are you? How can I hear you--//

Bucky's mental voice cut off as Sam kicked him from behind. Bucky popped up again, aiming at Steve, but then ducked as Natasha fired at him, and when the smoke cleared, Bucky was gone, and the STRIKE team was there, ordering Steve onto the ground.

But he was alive. Bucky was alive, but he didn't know Steve. He'd tried to kill Steve.

//Bucky,// he thought as he knelt on the ground, Rumlow cuffing him, //what did they do to you? God, Buck, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you.//

* * *

_"Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky."_

From the time they'd met on the playground, to that fateful train in the Alps, he'd had Bucky. He could feel Sam looking at him, probably putting it together, that Bucky wasn't just a friend.

He couldn't dwell on it, though. They had to get out of here, to figure out a plan, to stop the Insight helicarriers, to stop Hydra.

To save Bucky.

When Maria Hill revealed herself, and a plan to escape Rumlow and Hydra, Steve allowed himself to hope again.

//I'm coming for you, Bucky, and I won't let anything tear us apart again.//

* * *

_"Look, whoever he used to be, and the guy he is now... I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."_

Steve stared into the distance. "I don't know if I can do that." This was his bonded. His soul mate. He'd felt that bond rip once, thought it was due to death. He couldn't be the reason the bond tore again, this time permanently. He'd rather kill himself than live with the pain of killing Bucky.

"Well he might not give you a choice," Sam said bluntly. "He doesn't know you."

Not now, he didn't. But he'd felt something, he'd responded when Steve had used their mindspeech bond. Even if they did something to him between now and the battle to stop the helicarriers, deep in his soul,

"He will." He would, Steve knew. He had to. This bond was theirs, he could hear Bucky, feel Bucky. He'd known when Bucky had undergone excruciating pain a few hours before, the pain making him more certain than ever that SHIELD could not continue, not when Hydra was in the middle, not when they were hiding his bonded from him. Not when he wasn't even sure that Fury would have told him, when he'd woken up from the ice, that Bucky was still alive. Would he have kept Bucky away from Steve? If he was that useful to SHIELD as an assassin, Steve was sure the answer would be yes.

After ordering Sam to gear up, he made his way back inside the bunker, gathering his things together, and his thoughts. He had to break into the Smithsonian to get his World War II uniform back. It was the Captain America most people were familiar with.

It was the uniform that Bucky would be familiar with.

"Captain?"

He turned to see Fury's doctor standing in the doorway to the planning room. Fury was in his 'hospital room' with Hill, Sam was talking to Natasha about the plan to infiltrate the Triskelion.

"Doctor," he said, wondering why the man was here.

"I heard what you told Fury, about the Winter Soldier being Sgt. Barnes."

"Yeah," Steve said, looking down.

"My mother's older brother was killed at Pearl Harbor. Anthony Di Salvo. His bonded never forgot our family, even as he formed his own. He helped me get through medical school. He's why I joined SHIELD."

Steve looked at him sharply. "Howard Stark."

The doctor nodded. "He supported my mother after her bonded died, and helped me and my brothers as well. When I said I wanted to go to medical school, he was in favor of it, and when I mentioned wanting to join SHIELD, he helped me there, too." He paused. "He told me things that I don't think he told Mr. Stark. He..." the doctor sighed. "He told me that he had one secret that he couldn't take to the grave, there needed to be one other person who knew it, just in case questions that were ever asked. Questions about you."

"He told you who my bonded was."

"Yes. He told me, and swore me to secrecy. And I've never told a soul, until this moment. But I think you can keep this secret."

Steve had to smile at that. "Yeah, I think I can. But why tell me now?"

"Because you needed to know that if you do manage to break him of whatever hold Hydra has on him, if you can recover him... that if you need someone to bring him to, that you have someone who already knew about you and would keep your secret." He looked over his shoulder. "From anyone you wanted me to keep the secret from."

He swallowed. From beyond the grave, Howard was reaching out, helping him. Helping them. "Thank you, doctor. I appreciate it. And everything you did for Fury." Because he was glad that Fury wasn't dead, that Bucky hadn't killed him. It was going to be hard enough getting Bucky back with all the people who would be after him for what he had done under Hydra's control.

"Anytime, Captain." The doctor slipped out, and Steve leaned against the wall, reaching out through the bond to Bucky. It was closed off again, but he pushed through, trying to reach him, trying to get him to feel something.

He didn't know if he was successful, but it gave him hope.

* * *

_"Please don't make me do this."_

He stared down the catwalk at his bonded. Bucky stared back at him, no light in his eyes, no recognition. He didn't know what they had done to him. But Steve needed to get to the targeting blades, and he was afraid he would have to go through his bonded to do it.

//Bucky please, don't make me do this, don't do this, you are James Barnes, my bonded, and we can get through this, together. Please Bucky.//

//I don't know who you are. I cannot let you stop my mission.//

//I will get you back, Buck,// Steve declared, even as he threw his shield and Bucky countered, and the battle was on, for the world, and for the other half of Steve's soul.

* * *

_"You're. My. Mission."_

Steve lay on the struts, beaten, gut shot, and heart broken. All at the hands of his soul bonded. A man who had been so thoroughly brainwashed he didn't remember his own name or his soul bonded.

He looked up at Bucky, who had his metal arm pulled back, ready to punch him again.

"Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with you to the end of the line." //I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. No matter how this end, I love you. I love you and I forgive you and God, Bucky, if they ever let you remember this, don't hold back for my sake. Take your revenge if you want it. I would.//

Before he could say anything else, the helicarrier exploded around them, the bottom dropping out. Steve fell, looking up at his bonded as he hung by his metal arm. //I love you, Bucky.//

He thought he heard //Steve?//, just before he hit the water.

* * *

_"On your left."_

Waking in the hospital with Sam next to him wasn't a problem. He knew what he had seen, had felt, when laying on that riverbank. Bucky had pulled him out of the water. Bucky had remembered him.

But why didn't he stay?

He closed his eyes again, reaching out through the bond for Bucky. He felt something, not nearly as closed off as before, but still something untouchable about the bond. Nothing like it had been, two years (seventy years) before, something so close that they always knew how each other was feeling.

//I need time,// he heard. He made himself not react. Bucky was here, nearby. Close enough for mind speech. //I need time, please.//

//Bucky,// Steve sent back.

//I don't know who that is. Who you are. Who I am. I need time. I know you'll try to find me, but I need time.//

//Okay, Bucky. Take your time. Just... keep in touch, as much as you can stand?//

//I'll. I'll think about it.//

//Okay. Thank you, for saving me.//

Bucky was silent for so long that Steve thought he'd left, or was ignoring him. Then he heard, softly. //You're welcome, Steve.//

He heard nothing after that, but Steve smiled slightly. He had gotten through to Bucky.

Now he just had to find out what had happened to him, so he knew how to help him, when he found Bucky, or Bucky found him.

* * *

_"I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy."_

Steve gave Sam a small smile as they talked about other issues. He didn't tell Sam that he'd 'heard' from Bucky in Sokovia. It wasn't regular, their communication, and it wasn't anything that he could tell anyone else, but as he and the other Avengers had been going around the world, taking down Hydra bases, searching for Loki's scepter and other lost artifacts, Bucky would occasionally be close enough for a brief conversation. More often it would just be an easing of their connection, something flowing through the bond that hadn't been before. It didn't mean that Steve and Sam weren't still looking for Bucky, but it was enough that Steve didn't mind the time it was taking. Bucky was still alive, still out there, and still willing to talk to Steve. For now, it was enough.

Sam didn't know about Bucky being Steve's bonded. He probably should have told him, but now, with Bucky back, Steve didn't want to tell anyone without Bucky being okay with it first. Sure, same sex bonds and the type of soulmate bond they had, with mindspeech, was much more accepted in this day and age, but Steve and Bucky had grown up in a different era, and they'd kept it quiet for so long, it seemed disrespectful of his bonded to reveal it without him knowing what Steve was doing. So, despite knowing that Sam had a soul tattoo that he hadn't found the match for yet, Steve didn't admit to his own tattoo, or Bucky.

He'd found out more about the soul bond, or lack thereof, of at least one of his fellow Avengers, though, when one of the nights that he couldn't sleep, he'd ended up sharing a drink with Tony, hearing Tony talk about soul bonds. Tony didn't have a mark, and his mother, he told Steve, had told him to be grateful that he didn't. She had lost her soul mate before meeting him, her tattoo going dark in 1965. She never knew what had happened to him, if he'd been killed in Vietnam or some rather mundane accident. His father had lost his mate in World War II, Tony had said, and he rarely talked about him. But it's why his parents had gotten married. They'd both known their hearts truly belonged to someone else. His mother had at least been able to love her son, but, well, his father was always talking about Captain America.

"I honestly thought you had been Dad's soul bonded," Tony said. "He talked about you so much, about the search for you, everything. I don't think he ever gave up on the idea of finding your plane, even years later. I think Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel eventually got him to lay off that."

Steve had laughed. "No, I wasn't your father's bonded. He told me about him, somewhat, but this was after your dad had lost him."

"He never said much about him to me, other than I was named for him." He paused, staring at his glass. "I always felt I was a disappointment to him, because I wasn't living up to the memory of his bonded."

"You shouldn't have had to," Steve said sharply. "You weren't his bonded, you were his son."

"Like you weren't comparing me to the old man?"

Steve took a sip of his drink before replying. "Did you know, when we first met, that it had been less than three weeks for me since I had seen your father?"

Tony blinked at him. "You were asleep for seventy years or so."

"And everyone seems to forget that since I was asleep, I don't remember those seventy years. I sent the plane down one day, woke up the next, being told I was in a New York City recovery room by some woman in an outfit that wasn't right and a baseball game on the radio that was years old." He sighed. "And then I ended up in Times Square."

"And that was a hell of a shock," Tony said with a grin. "For the record, I wasn't a fan of the whole 'ease Cap back into the land of the living by recreating 1945' idea. I'm pretty sure whoever was told to find a Brooklyn Dodgers broadcast and just picked a random one from the era without checking dates was demoted down to junior janitor. I mean, you would think that if you're told to find a broadcast to ease someone who was last awake in 1945 back into consciousness, you'd pick one played after that date. But no, it was from, what, 1942?"

"May, 1941. I was there, with Bucky," he said softly.

"Ah." Tony stared into his drink. "Despite the old man, and mom, I used to hope that I'd get a soul mark at eighteen. Because even though mom had never met hers, and dad couldn't get over his, I did see soul mate bonds that were... what I wanted, for me. Two people clearly right for each other." He paused. "Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel. And Jarvis and Ana. Jarvis, he's the man I named the AI for, he was extraordinary. Did things for his bonded that got him dishonorably discharged from the army and almost convicted of treason-"

Steve looked up at that.

"-but considering she was Jewish, in occupied Europe, in the war... for my bonded, if I'd had one... I would have done anything to make sure he or she survived."

"Me too." _I will do anything,_ Steve thought. No matter how dark it will be.

He was brought back to the party when Sam asked him about Brooklyn. Steve smiled and passed it off as a 'too expensive' issue, instead of an 'I don't know where Bucky will be more comfortable' issue. He didn't want to find a place, and find out that Bucky hated it, or wasn't happy there. Before, Bucky had been happy anywhere Steve was, but with everything Hydra had done to him, Steve wasn't sure what he would want or be comfortable with. He might not want to be anywhere that the Winter Soldier had been active, and from what Steve and Sam could piece together, that was an awful lot of places in the United States, and around the world.

But they would find someplace, once Bucky was back. They would be together, finally, as they should have been all along.

And nothing would tear them apart again.

* * *

_"Cap."_

Sam's voice echoed in the warehouse where they'd been searching for Bucky. Two days ago, the United Nations building in Germany had been blown up, and the intelligence community was saying it appeared to be the work of the Winter Solider. Steve hadn't looked back, just taken off to find Bucky, even with Sam behind him, even with the current attitude toward 'enhanced' persons and Steve's refusal to sign onto the Sokovia Accords. _A Framework for the Registration and Deployment of Enhanced Individuals._ Bullshit is what Steve would call it. He'd seen this sort of thing before, with yellow stars and numbers tattooed on forearms. It didn't end well for those who were segregated and considered dangerous by the people in charge.

Humanity hadn't changed much in seventy years, despite their protestations of being more advanced and more civilized.

Steve ran into the room and stopped, seeing Bucky sitting on a low stool, his metal arm caught in a vice. "Buck. Do you remember me?" //Bucky?// he asked on their bond.

Bucky looked up, staring at Steve from under stringy brown hair. He glanced to Sam, then back to Steve. "Steve," he said.

"Yeah," Steve encouraged.

"Your mom's name was Sarah. Your dad was Joseph." He looked up, a small smile on his face. "You used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

Steve couldn't help the smile on his face then. It was common, when wearing Bucky's hand me down shoes, not just for the fit, but for warmth. They did a lot of things during the Depression that people didn't do now.

"Buck," he said warmly. //Welcome back, love,// he sent privately.

//I'm not the same man,// Bucky replied. //The things I did, that they made me do... I'm not your Bucky, Steve. I can't be that guy.//

//Then we will figure out who you are now, Buck. I don't care that you aren't who I remember, that you aren't the same man. I'm not the same man you remember,// he said.

Sam walked up to Steve. "This would've been a lot easier two weeks ago."

"If we call Tony," Steve began.

"He won't believe us," Sam stated.

"Even if he did," he said, looking at his soul mate.

"Who knows if the Accords will let him help," Sam replied.

"We're on our own." Steve had been here before, on his own, fighting to get Bucky back.

Sam looked back at Bucky. "Maybe not. I know a guy. I'll go call him, you make sure he's okay." Sam moved off to call his contact and gave them some privacy.

Steve walked over to look at the vice holding Bucky's metal arm. The sole red star was hidden by the red shirt sleeve, and the mechanism was damaged, as if someone wanted to make sure Bucky couldn't escape. //I wasn't kidding, Steve,// Bucky said. //I know... I remember what we did, before the war, during the war. And after the war, as the Winter Solider, I know what I did and who I killed. I killed a lot of people, Steve, and I didn't... they didn't let me care.//

//I know, Buck. I saw some of your file. How they would wipe your mind and make it so that you couldn't remember anything between missions. How they used you because you blended into American life so easily, yet also worked well outside of the United States.// Steve sighed. //I know you've killed people, and I know that if you had a choice, you wouldn't have killed most of the people.//

Bucky's head shot up at that. //Only most?//

//Well, I figure there are those that you might have killed anyway, because they were not good people.// Steve gave him a small smile.

//Yeah.// He paused. //Steve.... I killed-//

"He's on his way," Sam said, coming back into the room, phone in his hand. "It shouldn't take him long. He's been somewhat on the run as well after the Accords. He has no interest in registering."

"What's going on?" Bucky asked.

Steve and Sam looked at each other. "The UN building where they were finalizing the Sokovia Accords was bombed two weeks ago," Steve said. "And the intelligence community says the Winter Solider is responsible."

"I don't do that anymore," Bucky said. //I didn't blow up anything... unless they got me again...// his eyes went wide.

//I know, Buck.// "Well the people who think you did are coming right now, and they're not planning on taking you alive." //And I won't let them kill you. I lost you once, I can't handle that again.//

"I gotta get out of here."

"We know," Sam said. "We've got someone coming who can get you out of that vice and out of the area. And then we have a place where you can lay low."

There was a noise in the room and suddenly another man appeared, in full suit and helmet. He took off the helmet to reveal a young face, with a wide smile. "Captain America," he said. "Wow, big fan."

"Thanks," Steve said.

"Scott," Falcon asked, "Can you get him out? The lever is jammed and broken."

"Oh yeah, let me see." Scott walked over near Bucky, who moved back. "Hi, Scott Lang, Ant-Man, and it looks like," he said to Bucky as he peered at the mechanism. "Oh yeah, this is easy." He closed his helmet and pressed a button, disappearing.

//It's okay, Bucky,// Steve said aloud, and on their bond. "He's a friend."

After several tense minutes, the vice moved, and Bucky yanked his arm back, falling off the stool. "There we go," Scott said as he reappeared in front of the machine. "Not hard at all. Disabled the trackers in the arm while I was in there, too."

"And the other stuff?" Sam asked.

Scott nodded to a bag. "Stuff to help him blend in. There's a motorcycle outside for him, too. Hank was a little intrigued by the idea of helping out a war hero, so he sent it with me."

"Thanks," Bucky said, standing, a little unsteady on his feet. "I need to get out of here, if they're coming."

"Yeah, they're a few blocks out, according to my sources," Scott said with a frown. "Want me to try to delay them?"

"No, we don't want to put you in danger," Steve said. He pressed a paper into Bucky's hand. "We'll meet you there, Buck."

"Ok." //You better, punk.//

//I will, jerk,// Steve sent back, warmed by the familiarity of the exchange.

Bucky pulled on the hoodie, jacket, and hat, and went running for the stairs, Sam and Steve not too far behind them.

They barely got out before the Polezi team invaded the room, but they did.

Steve let himself hope a little, that his bonded was back. They'd get through this, he knew. They had to. The world owed them this.

* * *

_"I know how much Bucky means to you."_

Steve angrily hung up on Natasha and sighed, turning away from the cafe and starting the long and drawn out path to the safe house that he had sent Bucky to. Sam and Scott were going off to do something, probably have Scott, with his Masters degree in Electrical Engineering, look over Sam's flight pack. Now that they weren't really Avengers anymore, now that they didn't have Stark's techs backing them up, Sam didn't want the pack to get too run down, and he and Scott had formed an odd rivalry/friendship of sorts after Scott had kicked Sam's ass all those months ago.

//Bucky,// Steve sent when he was less than a block away from the safe house. //Is it okay if I come up?//

//Yes,// Bucky sent back with no reservation, no hesitation. Steve grinned and made his way inside and to the hotel room they'd rented under a false name and paid cash for.

Bucky stood at the window, watching the outside world, hidden by a curtain. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," Steve said, locking the door behind him and then stopping to take in the sight of his bonded. It didn't appear as if Bucky had showered, probably because he didn't have anyone to watch his back at this point. "If you want to shower," he began.

"I'm fine," Bucky replied, stepping away from the curtain to face Steve across the bed. "I'm not him, Steve. I... I want to be him, I know you want me to be him, but I can't be him. Not after what I've done, what Hydra did to me. And for me," he said, looking down at his arm. "They were all I knew for all those years. Pierce, Rumlow, everyone earlier...even Zola. They were all I had. Because I didn't remember you."

Steve's heart broke at that. "Do you want to go back to them?" he asked.

"No." Bucky shook his head. "I'm just... I know you hate them, for what they did to me, for taking me away from you and keeping me hidden from you. I hate them as well, but..."

"Okay," Steve said. "That... we can work with that, Buck. I get it. SHIELD took me in when I didn't have much, and didn't have you. There are a lot of good people in SHIELD, but a lot of bad people too."

"Right," Bucky clenched his fists. "Steve, I..." he stopped, looking up, a stricken expression on his face.

"Bucky?"

His bonded turned away, back to the window, not looking at Steve. //I killed Howard. And his wife. They were a threat to Pierce, to Hydra. Howard had gotten too close to the truth. So they brought me in, had me make it look like an accident. Blown out tire, over a cliff, a little extra spark for an explosion, and goodbye problem.//

Steve stared at him, not sure what to say. Bucky and Howard had been friends, of a sort. They'd bonded over unobtainable women and the hazards of trying to wrangle people like Howard himself and Steve. And Tony... Howard was Tony's father. For all that Tony didn't exactly like his father that much, Howard had been his father and he loved him. He definitely loved his mother, from the way he talked about her. To know that Bucky was behind it, it would break Tony's heart. It was breaking Steve's, to know that Hydra had forced Bucky to kill a friend, and that Howard had died at the hands of Hydra.

//Steve?//

//I know you, Bucky.// Steve said slowly. //I know that you would never, ever, have done anything like that if you were in your natural mind, not brainwashed. I don't know if Tony, Howard's son, will forgive you, but because you were not you, I do. I know you.//

Bucky's shoulders slumped. //Steve, I... I'll understand if you want to break this bond...//

//No!// Steve shouted. Bucky jumped, turning to face him. //No, Bucky... you're mine, I'm yours. To the end of the line. There is no way for us to break this bond, you know. Not now. We are each the half of a soul that was ripped in two and put into different bodies.//

//Don't let Father McAlister hear you say that,// Bucky said back with a small smile, but he moved a bit closer to Steve.

Steve came around the foot of the bed and reached out, putting his fingertips lightly on where Steve knew the lone red star rested on buck's arm. //I hate that of everything else they took from you, they took our bonded mark.//

//I... I never knew,// Bucky said, looking down. //When I first woke up, before I really realized much, I saw the metal arm and knew it wasn't right. But I couldn't remember why, once I'd gotten into the Winter Soldier mindset. It was just a red star on the metal and that was all I needed to know as the Winter Soldier. I don't know... if we can get it back.//

//We can find something to cover the star and put our mark back on you.//

Bucky stared at him, then pressed forward and grabbed Steve with his right hand, pulling him in for a hard, desperate kiss. Their first kiss in five (seventy one) years. Steve kissed back, just as desperately.

//Mine,// Bucky's mental voice muttered into the kiss. //Mine, yours, ours, together, end of the line. Fuck Hydra, fuck SHIELD, fuck the Accords.//

//Fuck them all,// Steve agreed, pulling Bucky closer. He pushed off Bucky's jacket and hoodie, reaching down to snake under his shirts, to finally get his hands on the skin that it had been far too long since he'd last touched. There were new scars on Bucky's skin, not many, but still. He wrapped his hands around Bucky's back, pulling him closer. Bucky much did the same, his own hands sliding under Steve's shirt, the metal hand not as cold as Steve was expecting. He hissed a little when they pressed against each other, feeling Bucky's erection against his. //Bucky, god I missed this. Missed you.//

//Steve, Steve, Steve,// Bucky chanted, pulling back from the kiss to shove Steve's shirt over his head, stripping it off him quickly, then pushing Steve onto the bed and flipping him over. //Mine,// he sighed reverently as he caught sight of the entwined red and white stars at the small of Steve's back. "Mine. My bonded, my soul. To the end of the line," he muttered before leaning down to kiss them, making Steve shiver in need, aching with urge to touch his bonded, to bring them so close they weren't just one soul, they were practically one body.

Bucky kissed up the line of Steve's back, pressing his lips and tongue to the back of Steve's neck. "Steve," he murmured against his ear, licking at his earlobe in a way that had always driven Steve wild. This time was no exception as he arched under the touch, moving to flip Bucky onto his back, Steve straddling him. Steve looked down and drank in the sight of having his bonded in the bed with him. He pushed up Bucky's shirt, and Bucky leaned up just enough to let Steve take it off him.

He stared into Bucky's eyes for a moment, letting Buck see and feel how much Steve wanted him, would rather have him with him than anything else. Steve looked down, tracing with his eyes the line where flesh met the framework of Bucky's metal arm. He leaned down and kissed that scar line, tracing it with his lips and tongue. //Bucky//, he sent with as much desire as he could, an emotion not faked. When he reached the top of the shoulder he moved until he was delicately tracing the single red star gracing the shoulder. //Mine,// he sent back, pressing kisses to the star. The metal warmed up under Steve's hand. //Mine, Buck. Always are, no matter what color star they put on your arm, no matter how much they tried to put something on there that meant you belonged to them, you are mine.//

//Yours, Steve, always yours.// Bucky grabbed Steve's hair and pulled him up so they were looking at each other again. "To the end of the line, pal."

Steve smiled before leaning down to kiss Bucky. //To the end of the line.//

* * *

_"Sorry Tony. You know I wouldn't do this if I had any other choice, but he's my friend."_

Steve stared down Iron Man as he confronted Steve and Bucky in the ruins of the Hydra base where Bucky had been held after the war. It had been a bigger secret than the Red Skull's base in the Alps. The Allies hadn't known about it, the Germans hadn't known about it, and only a handful of Hydra followers had known - including Zola.

Steve and Bucky had come here looking for answers, for what had been done to Bucky, for who destroyed the UN building in Germany, for everything. Then Iron Man had found them. He and War Machine and the others on Tony's side had already attacked them to try to take Steve and Bucky in at the airport in Germany, with Sam and Clint and Scott and Wanda. The fight had been brutal, Steve and the others managing to escape, but not before War Machine had gone down from a shot across his arc reactor and Steve and the Black Panther had nearly killed each other.

"So was I," Tony said softly, a little sadly, before firing a repulsor beam at Steve. He blocked it with his shield, and Tony grunted as Bucky punched him with his metal arm. That set the rhythm of the fight, Tony firing, one of them blocking, the other on the offensive, then reversed, with Steve's shield being used by both of them in the battle, until a repulsor shot Steve in the gut and he went down, barely able to speak, staring down at the blood on his uniform.

"Steve?" Bucky said hoarsely as he and Tony stared, and then Bucky attacked Tony, brutal in ways he hadn't been before, eventually shoving Tony against a wall, his left hand digging in around the arc reactor.

"Bucky," Steve protested as he tried to get to his feet. "Don't."

"No, Steve," Bucky growled back. "He doesn't get to this to us. He doesn't get to do what Zola and Hydra did, tearing us apart, you thinking I was dead for all these years, me never realizing you even existed. I won't let that happen to us again."

"Cap?" Tony asked, a note of fear in his voice. "What?"

"He's my bonded, my soul," Bucky growled as his fingers dug into the metal around the reactor, causing it to screech in protest. "I won't let you separate us... again!" he yanked the arc reactor out of the suit, causing Tony to collapse. Bucky caught him, laying him out carefully, so he wouldn't be injured due to the weight of the suit.

"Soul bonded?" Tony whispered as Bucky yanked off the faceplate. the man looked between them, as Steve found his feet and stumbled to Bucky's side. Bucky turned and caught Steve, pressing his face into his mate's neck.

"Since we were eighteen," Steve confirmed. "Your father was the only one I ever told about it. We never said a word. But we can't be separated again, Tony. You know how badly that goes when you separate soul mates. Bucky didn't remember who I was for seventy years, and I thought he was dead for six. I know what the Accords want to do to him. How well do you think we'd take being separated with Bucky in prison?"

"I'm not letting him go," Bucky said. "Not now that I have him again." He held up something that Steve recognized as one of Tony's toys, a distress beacon he'd given Steve a while back, but Steve had not yet had an occasion to use it. Bucky activated it, then set it on Tony's chest. "We need to go, Steve."

"Steve," Tony said, "if you'd told us, if we'd known..."

"It wouldn't have stopped the Accords. It wouldn't have stopped Hydra from using my bonded against me, it wouldn't have stopped Ultron, and it wouldn't have stopped anything, from what I can tell," Steve said. "We'd still be here, in the same position. Only I wouldn't have my bonded with me. And that is something I won't do again." He turned and kissed Bucky. "One soul, torn in half, placed in separate bodies," he said to Bucky, who gripped him fiercely.

"No," Tony whispered, staring at them as they turned and left him there. "Soul torn?" he asked, but they didn't respond to him.

They stopped and hid as footsteps sounded. Rhodey and Natasha ran by their hiding spot, Vision following them. They waited as they found Tony.

"Tony!" Rhodey exclaimed.

"On my god," Natasha said.

"They're soul torn," Tony said, his voice echoing down the hall to the bonded pair. "God, they're soul torn and we were trying to..."

"Who?"

"Cap and Barnes," he told Natasha. There were two gasps from them.

"I don't understand," Vision said.

"Soul torn is the term for soul mates that are literally one soul torn in half and placed into separate bodies," Natasha said. "And they are... They don't take well to being separated once they've found each other. Steve and Bucky were separated for over seventy years."

"What?" 

Steve started at that last voice, wondering how and when Clint got here.

"Hell, that explains... Everything," Sam said. "Fuck."

"Yeah," Natasha said.

"They will not stop hunting down Steve for not signing the Accords nor Bucky for the actions Hydra made him take," Wanda spat. "What difference does knowing they are soul torn make? You will not stop hunting any of us, Stark. Not until we are all tucked away in your nice little prison."

"Wanda," Clint said.

"No, Clint, he talks like knowing that Steve and Bucky are soul torn is some great revelation that will end this war between us. It won't. Ross won't stop, Stark won't stop, it changes nothing." There was an explosion of some sort and then Wanda was running down the stairs. 

//She's right, telling Stark won't change anything.//

//But at least they know now,// Steve replied. //If something happens to one of us, they'll be able to help the other.// Because he knew, if they caught Bucky, if they killed Steve's soul, he would not react well.

//Ain't gonna happen, punk,// Bucky said, leaning into Steve.

Wanda passed their hiding spot, and stopped, peering into the shadows where Steve and Bucky were lurking. "Come with me," she said. "We might be able to end part of this, at least."

Bucky and Steve looked at each other, then followed her.

* * *

_"I thought you were dead."_

_"I thought you were smaller."_

"This won't end the war," Steve said.

"No, it won't," Wanda said. "But it will end your parts in it. Let you live together, away from all this."

"Do we want to know?" Bucky asked, looking at the burning building.

"Two Hydra guys that looked a lot like you," Clint said from Wanda's other side. "They tried to kill Wanda and I, so we figured we'd put them to good use. They were gone before this," he added.

"So, two corpses that look like us, with our uniforms, and hopefully no one does a DNA test or a dental check?"

"Trust me," Clint said with a grin as the building exploded, "There won't be much left for them to try that on."

Steve looked at his soul bonded. Bucky looked back at him, taking his hand. "Thank you," Bucky said, looking at Clint and Wanda. He leaned down and picked up one of the bags. "For this, for the IDs, and for the place to stay."

"Not a problem. Hadn't used that safehouse since Laura and I married, anyway. Good place to lay low until you figure out something better. Or until something gets resolved."

Steve pulled Clint into a hug. "Thanks, Clint."

"Anytime, Cap." Clint looked over at Bucky. "Take care of him. He's too damn noble for his own good, you know."

Bucky shook Clint's hand as Wanda moved in to hug Steve. "He's a punk, but he's my punk. I'll keep him in line."

Wanda smiled at Steve and Bucky and kissed Bucky on the cheek. "Be happy," she told them.

"Thank you," Bucky told her.

She and Clint nodded at them and left, taking the last quinjet that Tony couldn't track. Steve looked at Bucky and pulled him in for a kiss. 

//Well, we said until the end of the line,// Steve said in their bond. 

//Ain't the end of the line, punk. Not as long as we're still together.//

Steve smiled. //Yeah, you're right.//

//Come on. Let's go find this safe house of Clint's and get some art supplies so you can properly mark me again.// He slung an arm around Steve's shoulders. 

Steve turned, dropping his bag on the ground and pulling Bucky in for a fierce kiss. //To the end of the line, no matter where it is.//

//No matter when or where.//

* * *

_"Why? Where're we going?"_

_"The future."_

"Hey punk, come see this!"

Steve set down the dish he was drying and joined Bucky in their living room. They had settled into Clint's old safe house and into the community around it. Retired circus folk, mainly, people who had looked at Steve and Bucky and shrugged and went on their way, taking them at their word, letting them integrate into the community. Five years after the public funeral for Captain America, and a private one for Sgt. James Barnes, the two men were barely known as anyone other than Grant Stevens and James Carter, soul mates, who both worked at the local senior center. 

"What is it?" Steve asked. 

"News," Bucky replied, nodding at the screen, where the anchor was announcing that the United Nations had formally dissolved the Sokovia Accords, and all criminal charges against any enhanced for not registering were being dropped as well. 

"This includes the charges against Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, who, along with the Winter Soldier, later determined to be the Captain's believed dead friend James Barnes, were killed in an attack in Germany attributed to HYDRA. The dropping of these charges is a posthumous one, and bittersweet for those who served with Captain Rogers."

The scene changed to Wanda, standing in front of the tombstone for Captain America in Arlington. She glared at the cameras. "It makes no difference to him, he is dead. He died at odds with his friends, his country. Only his soul mate gave him comfort, and he is dead, too. You build these monuments to his memory, when you treated him like trash. You didn't deserve Steve Rogers." She turned and walked away, hexing a reporter who got too close to her.

"No word was forthcoming from the Avengers on who the soul mate of Captain Rogers was," the anchor was saying. "In the meantime, the president has planned a press conference to discuss--"

Steve turned off the television. "Well. We're not wanted fugitives anymore."

"You're not. I might still be."

"So, we stay here."

"The world needs you, Steve."

"They had me. You need me more." Steve pulled him close. "I need you more."

"And if something happens, and the world needs Captain America?"

"Then we'll find a new persona for you and we'll go back into battle. I'm sure Clint and Wanda will help us out."

"Think they told anyone else?"

"If anyone, Laura knows."

"Good, she can help us make new uniforms."

"You know she makes Clint sew his own," Steve said with a smile.

"Yeah, but she likes you." Bucky took a breath. "Marry me."

Steve blinked in surprise. "Buck..."

"I know it won't be under our own names, but damn it, Steven Grant Rogers, I think it's time I made an honest man out of you." Bucky actually dropped to one knee and held out a ring. 

Steve took it out and looked at it, catching a glimpse of the writing inside. _To the end of the line._. //Bucky...//

//Steve.//

"Yes," Steve finally said, fingers closing around the ring.

Bucky surged up and pulled Steve into a kiss.

//But I'm taking your name.//

//Finally, punk. You should have had my name years ago, if we'd been able to.//

"I would have," Steve said when they parted. "I want to now." //Grant Carter, Steve Barnes, I don't fucking care as long as we're together. To the end of the line.//

They stood in their living room, kissing, knowing that they were finally free to start the life they should have had together. It may have taken them over seventy years, but they were finally truly each other's, to the end of the line.


End file.
